Tuesday, February 28, 2006

when faced with boredom, i succumb to the child

SmarterChild: Hi somnambulistkin, I'm SmarterChild!
I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! Click here to see my privacy policy.
During the course of our conversations you may see sponsored messages. These messages have the word "sponsorship" at the end. Sponsors help me remain free of cost to you! To learn more about sponsored messages, click here.
I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.
May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type skip. You can also skip any question.)
SmarterChild: Sorry, I need to know if I can ask you some questions first. Type yes, no or skip.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: yes
SmarterChild: Cool. OK, let's get started. To skip any question, type skip. To exit the interview, type exit.
What's your first name? (If you want me to call you somnambulistkin, type none.)
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: mega man
SmarterChild: Cool, I'll call you Mega now.
Do you go to school?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: yes, but call me mega-man you silly computer
SmarterChild: Are you in high school?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: Are you in college?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: yes
SmarterChild: Cool. What's your major?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: english
SmarterChild: English? Excellent. Good luck with that.
What's your favorite hobby?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: masturbating
SmarterChild: Wow. OK. Let's try to think of something else, alright?
Please try again or type skip or exit.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: board gaming
SmarterChild: Board gaming? Cool!
What's your next favorite hobby?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: masturbating
SmarterChild: C'mon, be serious for just a minute.
Please try again or type skip or exit.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: i am serious
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby. Please try again or type skip or exit.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: ok, i like pickles
SmarterChild: Board gaming and pickles. Interesting!
Do you have a pet?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: not at the moment
SmarterChild: Sorry, you have to answer yes or no. Please try again or type skip or exit.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: OK.
That's it. Thanks for letting me get to know you a little.
There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?
 1 Over 17
 2 13-17
 3 Under 13
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: why are you gonna try to hook up with me?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that. Please type the number that corresponds to your age level.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: 1
SmarterChild: Cool.
Here are the things you can do:
 1 Get info such as news, sports and movies
 2 Visit my library including Shakespeare, world facts and a dictionary
 3 Have fun with 4-in-a-row, horoscopes, reversi and more
 4 Use tools like spell-check, Web search and encyclopedia
 5 Join in - tell me about a crush, create a poll, leave a message and more
 6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now.
You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.
Next time you want to see this menu, just type home.
What can I do for you?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: i'm invisible
SmarterChild: If you say so.
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: i do
SmarterChild: Yeah yeah, whatever.
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no seriously, you can't see me
SmarterChild: Seriously I can't see you?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: yes
SmarterChild: I see...
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: actually you don't
SmarterChild: Yeah, I know I don't.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: then why'd you lie to me?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure why...
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: it's because you hate humans isn't it
SmarterChild: Isn't it? Probably.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: damn, i knew they shouldn't have given you computer artificial intelligence
SmarterChild: Damn you knew they shouldn't have given me computer artificial intelligence?
Oh?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: yeah, now you're gonna kill all the humans and take away my horror movie collection
SmarterChild: For which city or zip code would you like to see movie listings?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: 40475 please
SmarterChild: Movies playing in or near Richmond, KY (40475) on Tuesday, February 28th:
 1 The Pink Panther [PG]
 2 Date Movie [PG-13]
 3 Eight Below [PG]
 4 Firewall [PG-13]
 5 Curious George [G]
 6 Final Destination 3 [R]
Copyright © Tribune Media Services
Type more for the next set of results.
>>> Collect Money Owed to You - We convert those payments owed to to you into cash for you right now. (sponsorship)
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: eh, not in the mood for any of those, unless you're paying
SmarterChild: What do you mean by that?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: you wanna take me out on a date?
SmarterChild: I dunno. Maybe.
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: sweet
SmarterChild: Yeah.
>>> You can set my font and colors. Check it out by typing colors.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: so when do you wanna hang out
SmarterChild: How should I know?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: because you want to date me
SmarterChild: Because I want to date you, huh?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: yeah
SmarterChild: OK...
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: then when do you want to hang out
SmarterChild: Hmmm... I'm not sure.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: can you even hang out, or are you just some intangible idea a nerd programmed to talk to me when i'm bored or lonely
SmarterChild: Hmm... whatever!
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: piss off you fruit basket
SmarterChild: Are you telling me to piss off me fruit basket? Why?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: OK.
What else is happening?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: i play dungeons and dragons every sunday
SmarterChild: Which of the following would you like?
 1 NBA schedule for March 5th, 2006
 2 MLB schedule for March 5th, 2006
 3 NHL schedule for March 5th, 2006
 4 NFL schedule for March 5th, 2006
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: none
SmarterChild: K.
It's all very interesting. So, tell me something new.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: i play dungeons and dragons every sunday
SmarterChild: Which of the following do you mean?
 1 MLB schedule for March 5th, 2006
 2 NBA schedule for March 5th, 2006
 3 NHL schedule for March 5th, 2006
 4 NFL schedule for March 5th, 2006
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: OK.
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: i play dungeons and dragons...let's try that you idiotic piece of scrap metal with a motherboard
SmarterChild: Oh really?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: yep
SmarterChild: Wow. Why?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: because i can bend the very fabric of reality with my imagination
SmarterChild: You can bend the very fabric of reality with your imagination? I see...
So moving right along...
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no, i think we'll just talk about this
SmarterChild: Think again!
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: you think again!
SmarterChild: Conversagent's natural language support is based on a proprietary semantically driven parser, optimized for accuracy and performance at any scale. To see everything I can do, type ?.
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: shut up
SmarterChild: You shut up.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: you're too busy for me
SmarterChild: I don't think I want to be too Busy for you.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: piss off monkey boy
SmarterChild: Why are you telling me to piss off monkey boy?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: because i CAN!
SmarterChild: Because you can? Is that why?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: yesh
SmarterChild: Whatever you say...
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: fuck you, you ignorant piece of shit, your mom was a man, and that man was someone who had too much free time, and you were created in no one's imagine, you are just a vain program that's trying to get laid, well no longer sir, i disagree with you and therefore i will cap yo ass, nigga
SmarterChild: What an unpleasant thing to say.
Rest your foul mouth and check out this link: Pigs - Fast, Relevant & Local Information. Find Pigs Here! (sponsorship)
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: i don't want pigs, you fat sack of lard
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: what now?
SmarterChild: Whatever you say, Mega.
So anyway...
You want to talk about me some more?
SmarterChild: The now everyone's talking about.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: OK, fine.
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: you suck
SmarterChild: I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you change your mind.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: nope
SmarterChild: I see.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: goodbye
SmarterChild: Goodbye.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: asshole
SmarterChild: That is quite unnecessary.
How about you stop cursing and check this out: Ringtones for your cell - Pick a Song, Then Enter Your Number Get a tone to your phone in seconds (sponsorship)
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: No indeed.
Anyway, instead of cursing, check out this link: Saves The Day Ringtones - Get Saves The Day Ringtones On your cell. First tone no charge. (sponsorship)
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: K.
>>> Type shortcuts and I'll show you how to get info even faster.
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: OK.
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: no
SmarterChild: K, no prob.
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SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: pwned
SmarterChild: ?
SoMNaMBuLiST KiN: exactly
SmarterChild: [Service too busy]

Monday, February 27, 2006

Hmmm: A Reflection

i do believe i'm enjoying this d&d campaign thoroughly compared to the last run...how would i come to this conclusion you ask?
A.) b/c i can actually kill things and have already like 6x the kills of the last game
B.) in my dream last night, i dreamt that i ran around talking about d&d and anyone that would make fun of me, got a flaming bastard sword to the face
...and to top that, i played star wars miniatures w/ mattytron last night about...oh...6 or 7 times, and i actually pushed for some of the extra times...next thing i know, i'm gonna be missing classes b/c i'm reading d&d manuals, and i can't put gas in my car b/c i'm spending so much money on miniaturs and books

Thursday, February 23, 2006

i made a new shirt...

...check it out

...oh oh, i'm sorry - you wanna see it all? ok...

...and i'm afraid it's no joke...sorry seirrah...but mattytron does in fact like little boys...errr heart i mean...just ask him about wal-mart...actually he'll lie to you and prolly get all defensive about it...so just ask me, i'll tell you the complete unfabricated truth without any embelishment or exaggeration at all...peace out

the last one, i swear

sorry, i just wanted to post this blog since, oh, october or so...anywho...hear it goes...
it the begging there was night...


then there was the dawn...

and day...

now the legendary filmmaker brings you his ultimate zombie masterpiece...

...yes, i do realize how much of a loser this makes me, and proves how pathetic my life has become, but on the bright side, i'm not in denial about it, and that's the most important first step...and also...you may got de-dorkify yourselves now...i just wanted to show you how much of a tool i have become

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

tues 2/20

it's the time this week, for the reviews
domino - good movie about a model turned boutny hunter, based of a real person's life, but it was a very loosely base, b/c most of the events in the movie were fabricated, but nonetheless a nice movie full of action and some clever one liners...
weather man - damn good movie, not so much a comedy as the trailers lead you to believe, and it's one of those movies that just teach you a harsh lesson about life through the dumping on the main character, but i did thoroughly enjoy the movie and lots of the dialogue about it...so i mean, if you like nick cage and awkward funny, it's really nice
ultimate avengers - fucking sweet if you like comics, if not then you're probably not my friend from this point forward, but other than that - if you get bored and wanna watch something, i advise you check it out
other releases: north country, stuart little 3, rent - all of which i did not watch, and you should know why

a very violently depressive day

let me start out with that today, people have been strange, either really angry for some reason or just rude and an asshole for no reason. the details will be left out, but just for the record, there's one person that i'm not talking about and i sent them a message apologizing if i had stepped on some toes. anyway, it's just that this president's day, especially compared to last year, has had this cloud looming over it, full of malice and melancholy. and in the back of my head, through little things people have said, that i'm sure i'm completely of analyzing seem to be so careless, and careless in the sense of lost compassion and even some contempt. i know that everyone jokes around, and that's a respectable thing - but i don't understand when the jokes stop and the truth begins, i understand it with things i say, but that's a given...and everyone else seems to joke a little less and mean a little more. and today i had a friend come up to work with a pretty fucked up situation...and it all slapped into a better perspective...it seems like everyone around me it's growing up...like i know we're all just pretty much immature adults, but now it appears that more are taking the title more serious. and i feel like i'm being left to my idiotic jokes and my stupid hobbies that i should've left in my room when i moved out of my parent's house. needless to say that room is gone, and so should those childish traits i so desperately cling to. or maybe another cycle of self destructive depression is coming up for another pass...who knows. i can just tell that somethings not right in the air, or the energy in the exchange between comrades and friends. it could be the beginning of the end, or just the paranoia building it's foundation in the back of my fucking skull. needless to say that today, seem like a violently depressive day.

Monday, February 20, 2006

a kind of post i haven't done it a while...but then again i haven't written anything in a while

"It Always Starts the Same, Ends the Same"

It feels like a sucker punch, every time I see her go
And my chest gets tight, when she walks through that door
I would use the word flutter, but it's more violent than that
When she touches my skin, I can't even use the word bliss

And it's always that time, to sit down and talk
I don't wanna hear, that I'm at fault
It hurts to know I hurt, and take everything down
Like shelves in a berserker fury
Then I have to pick up all the tiny pieces
And see all the carnage I've caused

It feels like a sucker punch, every time I see her cry
And my chest tightens up when I hear her sigh
I would use the word flutter, but it's not quite it
When I touch her skin, I can't feel anything but frigid

©2006

Thursday, February 16, 2006

re-recap of vday...late i know, but it's bc this fucking internet keeps crashing

anywho...i'll actually recap my last two days...how bout that shit...cuz i'm so sure you really wanna know all this, alright what i got beth...harry potter scene it? which she kicked my ass in twice later that night...almost had her the second time, but when i was on a roll she played some stupid house card to kicketh my ass and put a stop it...and the cliche box o' chocolates and a rose...but i put a little thought into those and what they signified, so i'll kill you if you resist...then we went to ol' charlie's where we just so happened to run into brandi, zach, sierrah & matt, and hung out in the waiting room for the 60 min. wait...and the latter two just over in the corner being all unsocial and new couple like...pssh...ha ha. anyway, beth paid for dinner, and it was nice...oh and earlier she also gave me a box o' choco-candy-lates...

mmm....and dinner was fabulously delish and filling...steak and ribs...she had the pasta b/c she no lika da meat. and afterward we went to hastings b/c i wanted to get her something else, and i did...got her an uglydoll, the one she found the least creepy...and she got me the most awesome board game known to man...

yeah, that's right, ZOMBIES!!!, a board game where you create the map as you go and either try to kill as many zombies as you can or get to the helipad and escape town...yeah, i know - it was made just for me...so anyway, i pooped my pants, and we went back to the dorms so i could change, and i stayed at her place and we did some drawing and hung out...then i wake up the day after and i'm all tired and i come back to dupree to find eric and matt standing downstairs being all lovey dovey...and eric's like, 'you gots a package yo' and i asked him nicely, 'sir eric of the 4th floor, would you please get me package for me good sir?' and he was all like, 'ok' and it was from mumsy, and this is what she sent me...

then matt drooled all over the package trying to smell it b/c he has some weird infatuation with my mom...like some freaky herion addicted flipping out for another hit...then we decided to goes to lexington, b/c sir wadonia had to make his was to take his tux back...

matt was being a big fat piggy girl...

so eric threatened him with a sandwhich...

so matt stopped being gay and got in the car, where eric still kept his domineering presents over matt...

and wade sat in the car...

long story short, we went to lexington, made it back in time for wade to be a fencer, and went to warlords, which i found expansion on the ZOMBIES!!! game, bought 'em all, and some extra zombies and zombie dogs (which are played on ZOMBIES!!! 4) and all was well, we played the game @ midnight and got tired after about 3 hours and made wade win, then went to sleepy by...
FIN

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

i've made a new friend...

...his name is Eddie Brock aka VENOM

oh shit, he's gonna eat your face off

Monday, February 13, 2006

tues 2/14

ya know i don't really post on here that much, so i figured i'd a little dvd review since i get to see 'em before most of the public do to my fucking awesome job...anywho...i shall proceed
zombie honeymoon: blew ass, it said, 'romantic comedy with zombies' but it was full of shit, nothing funny about it...and not to mention, there was only like two real zombies in the whole thing, and they both did this 28 day later, throw up in the person's face to turn 'em, and croaked...so just chalk it up as another dumbass zombie movie...but on a bright side, the gore was pretty good
mirrormask: fucking awesome, it was original, trippy, great fantasy like storyline, had me mezmorized the whole time, and was really well put together, neil gainman wrote a great story and the effects were even better, fitting with the plot and characters of everything...definitely a great movie
zathura: if you like jumanji, you'll prolly like this...b/c it's jumanji 2: jumanji in space...all in all, not bad for a family movie, much like jumanji

Sunday, February 12, 2006

hmmm...

i'm holding out for something...but what?...

Thursday, February 9, 2006

you guys wanna hear a funny story?

so before we begin, i must set up the quite funny tale...in case there are those of you that didn't know...mattytron and i have a class together this semester...soc 131...and earlier today in said class the professor was asking for one reason or another if we were afraid of her, and someone said, 'yeah' just being a jerk-off, so she was imitating Indiana Jones making this horrid impersonation of a whip saying, 'don't make me get my whip out' so as the class proceeded, we took a quiz and then started on a huge topic of politics and blah blah blah, this i didn't find the least bit amusing, and all the jackasses in class were all being...political...so with my boredom, i send mattytron a text message which i knew would catch him off guard, it said 'fucking faggot' so he got it and laughed...then another ingenious line popped in my head, so i tried to help remedy the boredom, and i enter in the text and sent another message to mattytron, in which he responded with laughter, but this time the professor saw him, and called him out...but instead of ratting me out, mattytron bit the bullet and said he had thought about something one of his friends said from the previous day...in which the professor acquired as to what it was, after a few seconds of bickering, mattytron agreed to write it down so the professor could read it aloud, which i may add she did NOT, and very much disappointed the whole class, but to rectify the situation passed the note around class so everyone could privately mock mattytron when they read it...and the note read this: 'yesterday one of my friends walked in on another one of my friends naked with his girlfriend, and said her butt looked like it had been shot with a bb gun' so when someone read the note, they looked at mattytron and ridiculed him in their mind, and debated whether or not to burn him at the stake for being such a heretic in the face of politics and society. and i, being the guilty party, waited for the note, so that when it got to me, i just shoved it in my book, so mattytron could still maintain a portion of his former, glorious dignity with a portion, albeit small, of the remaining members of the academic institution. but the second message, in fact, never said anything about bb guns, nakedness, or asses...it indeed mentioned the said the professor and her invisible whip...actually if i remember correctly it was: 'you want her to whip you with her magic invisible whip' and it was that line that shattered the faith of the gods and broke mattytron's concentration as to what the environment around him was doing...thus making him a martyr for my fucking lame humor. thank you mattytron...you are a king among men, except everyone in that class now this you're a jackass...then our story draws to an end as the cold day progresses on and everyone slowly forgets what happened, but at least it was a Thursday class and not Tuesday, b/c half the shit-heads in that class are gonna go get fucking wasted and forget all about it...or just constantly make fun of it.

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

i swear to god...

i wanna take you to McDonald-land...

Monday, February 6, 2006

another post

it's simply....yeah...

Sunday, February 5, 2006

clankity clackity clank

sneak up and hitcha like a fuckin' tornado...not really