sheep, all wolves really, you know the analogy. dime a dozen. and
there's more than a dozen. honesty, though, i appreciate that more than
anything else in the world. definitely makes the pill easier to swallow.
so here i am, yet again, talking about things, these things. took a
drive through a wet richmond. it smelled bad, everything smells bad,
everything about it, this town, my car, the whole damn picture should be
burned like a polaroid. do i not take things well, no i do. things like
this shouldn't be taken any other way. i'm no good christian, so
forgiveness doesn't sit well on my dinner plate. i'm human, i'm a
person, and i'm tired, i'm always tired and my energy is all but gone.
had to drive to put myself back together, like some pieces to an
action figure or puzzle or hell i dunno, doomsday machine. should i
really fall apart? no, i shouldn't maybe that's why the pieces are
bigger this time. maybe i was convincing myself i should fall apart,
that i should feel something of devastation. devastation? i shouldn't
feel anything, and i'm going back there real quick. it's easy to be a
stone, a rock, something unreachable, reciting the delicate care and
compassion for other human beings. fuck that. put msyelf out there too
few times, and every time i draw back like my fingers touched something
too hot.
it's a damn good thing. a damn good thing, today. and here i was
worried i wouldn't have enough time to myself. ha! blasphemy! half in,
half hurt. good now than later, keeping up the illusion. me in an
illusion? never. but always.
