and so the waters raged on around us.

last nite = teh suck.
it hasn't happened in months and i don't remember much, just enough. and nobody was there. which is prolly a good thing.
i hope this isn't a relapse, b/c i enjoy sleeping. i enjoy dreaming. i like having the next day be normal, not this feeling of foreboding, like something's amiss, something's wrong, and i'm gonna be the fall guy. when the shit hits the fan, it'll all come raining down on me.


but i did dream before it happened. and it was a cool nightmare. i had two kids (sons) and it was an end of days scenario. i just remember having to run with them from satan's son, ezriel. and it was like a like demon raptor. when they were safe (my sons) i had to help save the world by sinking a boat, before the army decided to blow up the city for containtment. and i remember having to get things to set on fire so distracted some apocalyptic beast.
then there was this shanty town, flea market and i remember greg and cheyan being there, along with my dad. it was weird, plus there was a band called ATHF, so yeah. but everyone in the shanty flea market were part of a larger movement against the military and creatures that threatened to destroy all those things we took for granted.
but then i woke up b/c i got a text message, and didn't dream again. oh well.
i feel so fucking weird, i just wish it'd stop.

quest-shon.

why won't people talk to you when they're angry? i mean, nothing will get solved if you don't talk about it, then it just gets to be this thing, lingering there. i'm not saying i'm not guilty of the same thing, but i just don't understand it.
and for that matter, why do people shut off other people that are supposed to important to them when weird or unpleasant feelings come up? i understand from my perspective that i just don't wanna bother anyone else with it, not to mention i can't ever find the right words to accurately describe what's going on in my head, etc.
i just wish i'd know something instead of assuming and thinking about it, feeling like an asshole, when i really didn't do anything. i'm confused and kinda sad about it.
man, this day. mondays to the 't'. and mondays don't even have a 't'.
karma probably. mother fucker.

attack killer penguins, attaq!

shit storm.
aquafina, although i'd rather have dasani.

it's hot, you're hawt. and the sweat is not so unbearable.
imagine that.
and there's so many new things i never thought i'd like.
but i like.
imagine that.

i'll pay for you, any time.
'this modern love' is stuck in my head.
i'm bored.
i'm so fucking bored.
so i sit here and wanna type haikus, and email them to everyone i know.
but i can't remember the format.
so i'm just typing fragment sentences.
in random stanzas.
b/c it's artsy...right?

i think a cunt flipped me off today, but i'm not sure.
cunt.
i wish i'd react faster, maybe like a panther or something.
gazelle, even.

tomorrow's when everything's supposed to look up again.
not that things don't every few hours or so.
when i'm naked of charades.
and there's just a face.
your face.
piercing eyes.
simple as that.

closing time at the print shop.
moving to the exit.

things i’ve learned in life thus far.

-work usually sucks, and if it doesn't - it goes out of business.
-cream soda rocks tits.
-it's much more fun to be drunk and belligerent than drunk and conserved.
-it's also more enjoyable to be drunk in the cold than in the heat, b/c:
      a)you don't sweat out the booze
      b)you won't die of a heat stroke
      c)you don't give a shit if it's cold if you're intoxicated
      d)you can always cuddle with the person next to you, no matter who they be
-dogs like to eat things they find outside
-people like to steal things they find outside
-bones can break whilst battling in the art of Frisbee
-robert gregory reads way too much about fighting styles and swords
-some people's parents give them awesome names, others not so much
-manstruation does exist
-sassy = classy
-food tastes better when you're drunk and tired
-laminating your hand for fun...isn't
-some of the best writers write comic books
-some of the worst writers write horror movies
-people are obsessed with zombies, which in perspective doesn't suck, but to me, sucks
-children generally creep me out
-'creeped' is technically grammatically incorrect
-people like to talk shit
-people also like to eat shit
-people also shit in the woods
-Mexicans usually have mustaches, which is what the term Mexi-stash comes from
-Richmond and Berea are gonna combine and get blown up by aliens
-pissing in a dark alley isn't nearly as fun as it was built up to be
-i hate chain emails, especially when they're about Jesus and the Will of God
-some people that made letter openers, made some bad ass letter openers
-dick is a fun word to emphasize
-cunt is too, for that matter
-i hate it when i fall in love with a seasonal brew of beer, and it's not that season
-fall isn't just pretty b/c of dying leaves. it's pretty b/c of sweaters and scarves.
-time warner cable internet sucks balls
-people who have to write stuff down to remember it, and forget to take it with them have just wasted a perfectly good piece of paper
-hugging trees will most likely give you a rash
-deep hugging a person with a rash will also most likely give you a rash
-if you find yourself playing with fire and burn off your eyebrows, you're not alone, but seek comfort in knowing, not everyone has eyebrows by choice
-i get tired of writing when i have to do other things, thusly concluding my list of blah blah blah blah...............MAH!

a day in the life of hermit shellcrab.

i don't understand in why it's such a bad idea to let go. but again, i find myself on that verge of trying to get to my moment of clarity. shove convention and self preservation to some other terrain which i dare not go. that way i can get back to being me, myself and happy. not that i ever wasn't, just more riding the line.
usually when you spend a lot of time with a person, it blends. right now, i'm in clear deatil, vivid as smelling the rain coming. and i'm good with what it is, and where it could be going. and it's hopefully going forward.
there's not a lot of things worthy of inspiration. but i am (inspired that is). still lazy, but that's my m.o. i don't wanna do things that are so unconceivable, but i do want more than what i'm giving myself credit for. and today, i open my eyes and see something new, and i have been for a few days now. it's nice, refreshing and just plain fucking awesome.
so just plain thanks. i'm good.