Monday, April 19, 2010

and just when your back's against the wall is when all the jaws fall down. the tongues get loose and feel their ways around your neck, fitting like a noose. i wish it were easier to jump, close my eyes and let my feet dangle there, just above the ground, but the words stab me, cling to my skin like burning shrapnel. was it always this hard? was it ever this easy? i fill my belly like i fill my mind, what's staring me in the eye is what it is, i don't try to decipher, but i eat it all the same. the same words, the same thoughts, but when it's regurgitated, suddenly nothing is as it seems. i'm just another prejudiced asshole out with a piece of mind that tears at another with no rhyme and no reason. i'm the evil person here, the bad man. nothing i can ever do is right by another, no matter how hard i try. failure after failure, what's the point of getting back up? the scrapes on my knees and elbows hurt. no one cares. neither do i anymore.

i just wish for a single second that i was important. for one single second i wish i could feel like i could fall back and someone could catch me. just shadows pretending. the world keeps an empty sounds, very hollow. i've never met someone quite like me before, but i guess that's why i can't feel anything, anyone at my back, just when i stretch out my arms, my hands and fingers.

i've got my own issues, i guess. i'm a burden to everyone around me.