Saturday, November 10, 2018

I've been feeling a little more, in very small increments - mind, that I'm becoming more detached from the world as I know it. I don't know if this could be attributed to just being tired, being paranoid, and having an overactive imagination - or - I'm just getting older and seeing the beginning wrinkles of something more serious.

For instance, nearly every night when I'm driving a long stretch of dark road on my way home from work, there's always something that dances just outside the field of vision my headlights provide. Granted, that's a shadow's specialty, but it doesn't make it any less potent for turning my stomach into a fist. With that, I've also seen amorphous shadows dance across the road or my windshield, prompting a heavy tap on the brakes. I know it's nothing, but there's always a tickle in the back of my mind that tells me otherwise. Regardless, this is a road I've traveled since I could first drive and I doubt new secrets would unearth themselves, nor that I'm becoming aware of things I wasn't able to perceive when I was younger. It's just weird. And turning in on myself as I like to do, I'm just wondering how much longer my brain can hold out before it unravels and I start buying in to all the crazy conspiracies out there instead of entertaining them like fun what-if works of fiction.

No one really explained this party about living in your 30's.

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

It seems that the same old things will always haunt me through that dreaming state of stress and anxiety when I least expect it.