Saturday, November 10, 2018

I've been feeling a little more, in very small increments - mind, that I'm becoming more detached from the world as I know it. I don't know if this could be attributed to just being tired, being paranoid, and having an overactive imagination - or - I'm just getting older and seeing the beginning wrinkles of something more serious.

For instance, nearly every night when I'm driving a long stretch of dark road on my way home from work, there's always something that dances just outside the field of vision my headlights provide. Granted, that's a shadow's specialty, but it doesn't make it any less potent for turning my stomach into a fist. With that, I've also seen amorphous shadows dance across the road or my windshield, prompting a heavy tap on the brakes. I know it's nothing, but there's always a tickle in the back of my mind that tells me otherwise. Regardless, this is a road I've traveled since I could first drive and I doubt new secrets would unearth themselves, nor that I'm becoming aware of things I wasn't able to perceive when I was younger. It's just weird. And turning in on myself as I like to do, I'm just wondering how much longer my brain can hold out before it unravels and I start buying in to all the crazy conspiracies out there instead of entertaining them like fun what-if works of fiction.

No one really explained this party about living in your 30's.