Friday, February 25, 2005
the game of life
it's difficult to say which color car i'd be, cuz i forgot the colors,
i'll just choose burgundy b/c that's the color car i have right
now...and it's not much different looking from the actual piece, imagine
that. maybe my whole life is just a fucking board game...maybe not.
right now, i can't tell left from right...wait - i can, i'm just being
difficult, plus the head cold's fuckin' me up. there's a point in one's
life where they have to realize...maybe everything that they've thought
their whole life just simply isn't true...maybe it's just some grand
delusion brought about by watching too much movies...ya know. or maybe
it's just all the acid creeping into the brain...after all isn't it like
12 hits before you're declared legally insane...? but then
again...yeah. i feel so optimistic, and yet so down...i don't know where
it comes from...maybe i'm having a period. and i'm sure some people
would say, now tristan - you need to gather your thoughts and
emotions...but that's not it here...i know what's going on around me, it
took some sobering up to catch, i just wonder if it's like that
dasboard song..."this ruined puzzle" it keeps playing in my head. i just
wish that there were words i could say, to explain myself so thoroughly
and that someone would believe me, i'm not lying, I AM FUCKING SINCERE,
and it pisses me off to think that any other person of my species and
gender could say such things that are so sincere, and lie. i've lied
before, but not like things that have been said. and the guys that learn
the poetic lines to recite to a gorgeous girl give guys like me a
harder time, genuine creative guys that really do feel the things that
they say. the human race is becoming a shitting pool of stupidity and
idiocy and all the good people are stuck right in the middle of the
swurl as we all head straight to the sewer. good god, i need something
of happiness in my life for a while...ha ha...
Thursday, February 24, 2005
i eat babies with rabies
yo, so on this side of the fence, there's nothing more than a few
strains of virus floating around. seems like it's that time, that time
to breathe in the air, and get so light headed. ha ha, which could be
awesome...or not. anyway, i've been sitting here, bored as hell -
changed some of the pics on my profile, to commemorate the holocaust,
and it's prolly not the one you're all thinking about. fun weekend,
weird too when i was sober...alcohol really messes or can mess with a
person...or not - maybe it's just me being all lonely, well the night is
over...my cd's skipping...and i'm hoping i won't remember one god damn
thing. oh yeah, josh and me recorded a song...it's not too bad, but
yeah.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
i don't titled my stuff anymore
there's just no way to put into words the feelings and emotions of what i
feel or why i feel the way i do, i'm sure no one cares, so i warn you
now - this is not something you'll care to read. there is this pain
growing within me like a parasite of some sort, i've beaten it for the
past few days and now it's eating me alive - but you're you and i'm me,
maybe it's just supposed to be that way. so now the cold wind'll creep
up my back and i'll shudder, but god damn loneliness never felt so good,
and it never felt so bad. it's moments like those that i hate to love
to be alive. the room is cold now, like i'm trying to make my heart.
love is a weakness, so by default that makes everything else the same.
i'm tired of being so nice, cuz i get shit on for it. i'm tired of being
so sensitive b/c i get nothing from it, just pain pain and more pain. i
have a great friend who is fucking awesome, but the world just seems
like shit right now. i need to cleanse my blood right now, i something
other than this feeling. maybe i'm over dramatic, but then again maybe
i'm just not really human and that's i feel the ways i do...god please
don't let me human, cuz humans are so fucking careless and inconsiderate
just like the people they hate. to be so blunt, so be so simple, so be
so cliche - it would hurt less it you slit my throat, gouged out my
eyes, and make me choke on my own black heart. it's so cold here, but i
guess i should get used to it.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
HOLY SHIT OMG!
since thursday i've been ripped with a some funny antedotes and what
not. and met a lot of cool people, and one really super cool person, got
a p.a. and have a brand new p.o.v. for a p.o.s. like me. ha ha, nah -
but i won't go into details so you can lick me...and i can avoid
inflating an ego...which is something i choose not to do right now.
Tuesday, February 8, 2005
Monday, January 31, 2005
I CAME FROM THE MOUNTAINS, FOR YOUR CHILDREN
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