Am I Dead Or Just Dying?

i don't know why, but i like that phrase. but i'm neither sorry to disappoint the few who'd like me to die. i'm just sick and recovering. not really doing much, skipped a few classes b/c of the common illness. but nothing much happening in richmond for tristan. i just do what i can and play halo with the hippies in the hall, and listen to my neighbor's loud rap music. but now i must go, i don't know why i really posted maybe cuz i think someone does read this besides nick & glen (who like to laugh) but that's them and they're assholes, but they're my friends so whatever. alright later.

another zombie song

Monroeville Mall

This mall, dismal, these faces are so vacant, could we stay for a while
So safe, such a fort, all we have to do I block the doors
This place, our plague, we have everything we could ever need
So just tonight, let’s stay, we will watch the sunset and rise on Monroeville

Is it on hundred or two hundred dead faces, aimlessly killing time
Wandering here because they have no where else to go, don’t know where else to go
It’s these primal thoughts that bring them back here again
A couple bricks through the window, a single slut in the head

Slowly falling apart, one going down by one, we start with the trucks
Trampoline projections, the second run was the worst
First went the arm, and then the leg, it was suicide
And we slowly tore ourselves apart, same sane company day in, day out

Eagerly waiting for survivors, still waiting for scavengers
As they come and tear our fortress apart, piece by little piece
Letting in these blue skinned freaks, that love to eat
It’s a party, with motorcycles, guts, and brains

The scavengers may be gone, but the threat still lives
What can we do, over run by the dead
Where will we go, what stories could unfold
We’ll just have to put all our faith in Romero

my zombie song

i'm posting my lyrics of a song about zombies, actually a zombie, but yeah - the title changed, it was the longest night alive, but now it's not - see...

"Early Sunsets On The East Coast"

Blood stained shirts and bloodshot eyes
Its not so easy to sift through the lies
You said this, I retorted with that
God knows I didn’t want it to end up this bad

The shotgun’s in the kitchen, sitting on the counter
There’s puddles on the floor, smears on the door
Smashes through the window, cracks through the boards
I’ve never had to fight so hard, for something I took for granted
But now here I am with blood soaked hands

They are everywhere now, waiting for us like blood-crazed leeches
Watching us with those hungry hungry eyes
And when you fell, I couldn’t do anything, I was helpless
There was blood all over and you were screaming
I couldn’t do anything but watch you slowly fade away

So I had to carry you back to our boarded shelter
And I pointlessly bound your wounds to ease the pain
You moaned so loud, you screamed death
All I could do was sit and wait until you turned
It was the longest night I’ve ever live through

When the cover slid off your face, I knew the time had come
So now with this crowbar in my hand, there is only one choice
I closed my eyes and as they burned, I smashed you out of torture
With the tears dripping from my eyes to wash the blood away
I finally realize that I’m not okay anymore

THIS IS MY TIME TO...CRAP

well yeah, not a whole lot going on in the life of...just jesi getting home and having to unpack all her freaggin' crap, but it's wasn't bad at all she fixed me some tuna wiggle, it was great and i had four bowls, and i still weigh 132 lbs. i'll never gain weight...well until i'm over 40 then i'll be a good year blimp, but yeah. i went up at the end of Annie Get Your Gun, friday night, and i saw a bunch of all homies - it was nice, just made me miss high school, somewhat with all my friends and losing touch with the people i was used to seeing every day. and poor bobby, his car broke down and his g/f broke up with him, and he works @ taco bell. hopefully things'll look up for him. patrick's supposed to come back sunday, so i'm hoping back saturday to have something planned like a welcoming home party for him, and one for jesi - might as well just call it, good first year at college guys. and if i do it'll be here, at my home.

also i really hope i get into eku - cuz jayo will be my room mate and hopefully we can get a band thing going. which would be cool, seeing as the whole vx thing is falling apart for me, cuz i can't ever make it to practices, cuz i'm always working and then when i get off and i try to go over there, no one's home - urk - plus i don't have any equipment since i freaked out and took the p.a. back to the doo woop shop. but that's life, thing's are actually filling up on my schedule, which is cool cuz i don't like not having anything to do. maybe i'll get something to bitch about, cuz that's always nice.

AVOIDING A CURSE

yeah, so i have to make a new post, or a mummy of sorts will curse me. uhm, nothing goes on reall - just hanging out with peaches & cream, and jayo came over and we player tetris attack for like three hours. and i work slightly. and take my nephew to school. but nothing really ground breaking. although, there is this bet i have going with jesi that i'm gonna win cuz there's lyrics "you wanna be a balla, shot calla, brawla...." and i say it's from puff daddy (before the p.diddy era) 'all about the benjamins' and she says no, the only thing i have to add is...remember the bet about the works bottle caps? huh? cuz i won that one too. i know what i'm talking about...kind've...sometimes

but other

than that there's not really much, oh yeah - janell was at suncoast the other day w/ justin (are they dating? i dont' know) and saw how expensive the invader zim dvd was

OH! that reminds me, i got two killer dvd's, invader zim vol. 1 and teenage mutant ninja turtles season 1 (the 80's shit) and i've wasted hours watching them both...and being in complete childhood runny nose, drooling bliss - it's fucking JAWSOME that's how awesome it is.

THE RESPONSE I FORGOT TO MAKES

alright g, you want some stuff flowin' in the non-prose verses alright:

i settle in the sulfur
breathing to stay alive
i can't help but think of you
to keep me through
my arms are numb but i can still feel you
my ears are clogged, but i can hear you

walking the lonely streets of laredo
head hanging down to my feet
i watch the cracks as the glow beneath me
as i run into some white toed shoes
i look up to find a flow
up your legs, to your chest, to your chin
and your eyes
those beautiful blue eyes

i've lost my breath
lost my footing
it's like quicksand and wet concrete
pulling me in
but i fight
i fight for you
cuz it's what you'd do
so would it be a crime to say
that my heart belongs to you

there ya go gumby, i actually kind've like that one too - well all good things aspire from heart felt emotions, wouldn't you say?

SO IF MONKEYS HAVE SEX...THEN WHAT'S LEFT FOR ME

ah, guys i've been writing like a shit storms pushing my ideas out. got this killer idea for a zombie movie...like everything else basically but no killer running zombie - just a one struggle kind've thing. and i got some ideas on a vampire mythology - still trying to finish Cista Aeternus Anethema, the write the story i'm creating that for...good god it's all busy in my freaggin' head - YAR! and i've been thinking about vx...nick got on full time @ tower so i'm wondering if it's gonna permit the weekly practice, cuz they require over time sometimes...double yar...well it's not like we were doing anything anyway, but there's still hope