it's like relieving yourself on a fence...if you're a girl.

oh, how i have thwarted you boredom, and tired eyes. two birds, one stone, yet again. may i be something ingenious? or just lucky? either way, i've smothered out my panics by lavishly indulging myself in the pulpest of fiction. and now after just about a whole day of sweet panel to panel action, my eyelids are heavier still. i want to finish, god how i need it, but i just can't carry on. the weight of the past couple of days is indeed bearing on my mind. but, oh, how tomorrow will bring me rest until the sun begins to descend into the horizon. now that is a priceless novelty that i shall never tire of, maybe the weight of it will sink me from time to time, but to wake only when i'm ready...it fills my lungs with a chill and relax that makes my back hurt a little bit more.to gain something, you must first sacrifice another something.

come and go...

...you come and go, like fleeting passion and some false hope. i look at you now, cradled in the back of my eye and remember what it was like when i believed you. but now you're just an idea, and i can't stop thinking. ideas are dangerous, ideas consume. and it's this idea that's been getting the best of me. i told myself i wouldn't think anymore, that i've been better off vacant and dumb. but instead, the idea has found a way to ravage my mind once more. i can't seem to escape.
...you come and go, and i'm left, disappointed. no empty promises, just me getting my hopes up and falling down when my high standards aren't met. it's nothing really, just a stupid boy pretending to be a stupid young man. maybe i'm still more naive than i shrug off my shoulder, and a little more wounded than my scars and limp will reveal.
...you come and go, and maybe i shouldn't care. maybe i should be this non-wanting part of the world. completely happy, completely oblivious, completely into nothing but the things that sustain me. and those things being inanimate objects of escapism, something to wrap my complicated, soaring mind around. something that helps me to realize my feet need to be on the ground.
i've been here before, i've known what to do. just go to sleep and wake up, breathe and take things slow. but for some reason the earthquakes remain, no matter how much i try and strap the important pieces of my life down. they'll shake, they'll tumble, they'll shatter. and i'll be forced to pick them up again. always do. always will. and i'm fine with that, for now.

dammit, again

what happens when you like someone, and they like you back. but when you really just wanna be around them a lot, instead you both agree it's better to take time, hell you even initiate the 'let's see where this goes in time' after you've decided something like, you wanna date them even though you want to be that person that's got nobody and is fine with that. why can't things be simpler? ever?

'it figures' is the name of the game

color me a shade of slightly disappointed.
and leave all the other shades a different tint of grey, so that i can just blend in with the static background and be nothing more than a passing headache.
color me some shade of what's the point of hope
then spin me around til i'm dizzy, and tattoo gullible in big bold letters across my forehead
color me the tints of i told you so
and burn me alive once more, until i finally understand that there's nothing to understand, burn me alive until the words slip from my lips like some ghost in bones, "it figures"

in between...

i always fall in between. today i wake up and i seem to be the worse for wear and i don't know why. seems like today might just be a shitty day, thank god i'm spending it at work. bitches come and get some.

take that and that and that

"I'm a finger print on the glass of a skyscraper." that's pretty much how i feel, most of the time, but somehow, not exactly, and not lately.
i just wanna do things, but i can't...exactly...everything's so different than i'm used to. i dunno. my small disappointments don't ruin a whole day. and let downs and drag abouts just are inconveniant.
today was good, i can say that...i can say that.

something else i can

fucking awesome, that's what you are.