a bloggernaut never dies slowly. its always fast and hard with his pants down.

but this isn't always true to form.
i will say this. new people aren't always bad as much as i pretend and build up in my head that they are. and broadening a network has its pros and cons.
but by god, wearing a mask in the middle of strangers has something profoundly liberating about it. you can pretend to be anyone you can concieve. the real kicker is when you're still just yourself.
and what exactly does that say about me?
i know what it is.

jonesin’

i get sick to my stomach sometimes.
but i can still tell i'm getting better.
no telling how long before its completely gone. it always goes away.

every word i say has letters in it.

so, its difficult, b/c the reason you gave was a reason i've heard before, and its uncomfortable b/c i see the same things happening in my mind.
(not that that's what is really happening.)
but then again, a good defense is, its none of my business
 i'm already getting as much pain as i could from it, so just go on and do what you want, i don't care. i mean, i do, i just wanna get past this sense of jealousy.
just this final step i'm we've both gone away.

i've had days where i don't think about it. but every now and then, i have a bad day where its all i can think about.
sad, i know. you'd think i'd be able to forget something so short and quick.
but i'm the dumb one. always will be.

listen...

...you're fucking up. deal with it.

and to the matter of factly stated: i owe you one, Captain Obvious.
here's to a better weekend and a better month than i've had in a little while.

drunk blab.

caring about people is bullshit. i should look out for 1, i'd at least not get hurt. or disappointed.
i'm no legend. i'm no honest Abe. i suck. and that's the truth.

Sober note (the day after): This was the after thought of hanging out with Shredmetal and Zach most of the day. We had a long in depth conversation on relationships and the people that don't need them. They're good peoples.

the most important blog you’ll read all fall/winter

They both need a good home. Come get one, or both. They're uber sweet and awesome, they just need love and attention.

another sleepless night of zombie eyes.

it's amazing how the simplest things can lose all their value and joy in the wink of an eye.
i wanna sleep, but i can't sleep so i'm leaving trails of interweb banter to bring something to me. but bread crumbs only ever brought bugs.
i'm not having fun. just having bad luck, with good peoples.