Nearly sick to my stomach with envy and finicky nostalgia. What's a boy my age getting into this nonsense for?

You never come out of that hole you've crawled into. Deep and dark and scary (to me, at least). I've looked up a few times and saw that the sun was shining, but instead of a hug that lasted too long, I could feel my skin getting hot and parts of me started to sweat just like being stuck in a car in the middle of summer with the windows up.
I used to hate it, the knees bending and the fingers running wild, but you don't keep up and I have nothing new to pine over. I just sit in my ebony tower of thoughts and self-crucifix actions and think about the vague lyrics that you lived your life through. It took a long while, but I got a sliver more of the understanding ear and it warms something in me. Not enough to give up and forget, just enough to realize how deep I feel and how distant I was from seeing the present right in front of me.

I'll never make that mistake again if I'm ever afforded the chance at something great with all the toppings. But it's a curse I don't know if I'll ever be ready for. Not even for familiar souls to touch my empty chest.

I figured by now that I'd stop letting you haunt my dreams, but a mighty lonely can come creeping without any personal ghosts.

There isn't a power in the cosmos that could keep my mind off of you.

What I've come to learn about night drives... is that I think too much. Two years shouldn't be this bright a torch to still be carrying.

The world is full of something, but I'm not quite sure what it is.

I have these moments where I want to share a lot of words with people I don't know. Not anything mean or spiteful and not anyone I'm around on a daily or semi-daily basis. I guess I just want to meet someone new and interesting. Could be why I'm branching out socially. Could be I'm just trying to make myself feel better for giving up on old habits. Could be I'm just a little different than I used to be.

And the sad truth of it is: she would have been more if I wouldn't have been less.