You never come out of that hole you've crawled into. Deep and dark and scary (to me, at least). I've looked up a few times and saw that the sun was shining, but instead of a hug that lasted too long, I could feel my skin getting hot and parts of me started to sweat just like being stuck in a car in the middle of summer with the windows up.
I used to hate it, the knees bending and the fingers running wild, but you don't keep up and I have nothing new to pine over. I just sit in my ebony tower of thoughts and self-crucifix actions and think about the vague lyrics that you lived your life through. It took a long while, but I got a sliver more of the understanding ear and it warms something in me. Not enough to give up and forget, just enough to realize how deep I feel and how distant I was from seeing the present right in front of me.

I'll never make that mistake again if I'm ever afforded the chance at something great with all the toppings. But it's a curse I don't know if I'll ever be ready for. Not even for familiar souls to touch my empty chest.