I feel like, sometimes, we could benefit from a life that we have fight to survive to keep the privileges we have instead of being spoofed safety and comfort wherein the only things we fear are diseases created of our own devices and losing someone to age.

Where are the carnivorous dinosaurs to chase us around while we hide and shit ourselves?

Shoot first. Ask questions later.

I think we gave that up with covered wagons.

I'm getting to that stage where all I can see through paranoid eyes is dishonesty. And all I can do is let the negativity flood in and swirl around me.

Maybe this is all I've been for so long that there's really no point in fighting it. Trying to be the best person never quite works out, even when you stay the course despite being in the dust of crumbling dreams.

I never bother to care until it's pointless. And people tend to see what they want, despite what the truth is.

I find people are more often not what they seem to be.

I feel content absorbing myself in work. And by work, I mean writing and planning out comic book pages.

Is it strange to be more of oneself while outside of yourself?

And I randomly find one thing rolling around in my head from some book I read somewhere: "Go then! There are other worlds than this!"

I feel like it defines myself in a way. I wasn't quite made for the tangible things.

I think I hate horoscopes. Just when I think they're talking to me, I understand nothing of the reading for today.

Stupid astrology.

I realize that I sound more depressing and sad than I intend. Sorry for those people that find this and get a one-sides impression of me. I think a lot on things that end up not coming out in the brightest demeanor and the more fresh and personal things are, the more vague I get. That's the way I've always decided to share things. But please know that I'm not always sitting in a gloomy room thinking of random shit to say to make someone worry or anything else. I'm usually in a well lot room with a glass of water and a flask of emergency bourbon and a comic book.

So many lights and they're all going out like candles in high wind. I'll breathe deep and shuffle my way through this long dark.

Wow, I haven't felt this bad in a long time. Wonder what my psychic advisor would say?

I think I've written and said just about all I can for today. So that leaves only the tomorrows to follow.

Taco taco. Burrrrito burrito.

I've fallen into it again as much as I try to fight it. It's become wrapped around my veins and pulls me like a puppet. This is a strange familiarity that I try to fight for once and it's taking everything out of me. But I won't give in. Not this time, not with this one. She deserves something that I could never be and someone I could never give her.

Why do I even put this on here?

I've got miles to go before I get through this killer funk.

I feel a wind blowing. It'll overtake me real soon and I'm not sure what it'll be like after, but I'm curious. I'm always curious.