awkward moment of the day:

i'm going to do my laundry, and the only four washers open, side by side, are toward the back. so i mosey on to the rear of the laundrymat, and pass this dueschey lookin' guy (i'm an asshole, i know). and some bitch-faced girl is sitting at the back table, looking like she's texting away on her phone. the guy that passed me is unloading a washer across from me when the girl says, "So who's this fucking bitch?"

the dude's eyes go bulging and he starts denying, "iunno, just some random girl" blah blah blah.

so then the bitchface continues to go on and on and on, something about a russian girl the guy got a lapdance from and woke up next to in the morning. and she was very unhappy to say the least. throwing out, "you're so fucking stupid." and "that's how you get AIDS, sleeping with a stripper." and just talking and talking and bitching and moaning. probably understandbly so.

anyway, the whole time this dueschebag puts on this piss poor denial about "no" this, and "iunno" that. just taking the heat. and making it the most fucking awkward time i've ever loaded my dirty underwear into the washer. the worst part was i knew she wanted to drag me into it, to make him feel like a dueschebag even more. every time he'd walk off to get change, or this or that, she was eye fucking me for an excuse to use the free, "hey, you fucked a nasty stripper, how could i do worse?" card. then the guy'd come back around and she'd just pick up where the griping left off.

now, this is the best part. this guy is just taking everything, denying but not fighting hard at all. even being degrading in front of another dude. but i guess he gets his fill, and deturs her spectacularly by saying, "You're right, those shoes look really nice."

now, the unstoppable freight train of jealous spite filled venom screeches to a dead silence hault, and she replies, "Thank you," all bubbly of course, "I told you they were cute when I bought 'em earlier today."

and like this neanderthal was some fucking magic weilding god of mischeif and fucking thought trains. she started gabbing about shopping all day the day before, and how much fun it was.

i wanted to stand slack-jawed, wide-eyed, but i didn't. i just kept loading my laundry, and ignoring them. until they eventually left. thankfully, right after i started the washers.

so yeah, bitches, man, bitches. i just really don't understand how people can really be that inconsiderate, on both ends, you know, pursuing a fight in public in front of a complete stranger, and whatever that asshole was up to to put him in that situation. but most of all, i could see why he did it, b/c he got away with it with such little effort. but that does just make me think, what's the point? why stay with someone if you're gonna go somewhere else for what you already have. i've never understood the point in infidelity, sober or otherwise. i'm 24 years old and never once have i cheated on anyone i've dated or had feelings for, etc. it's really just as simple as, 'hey, i'm not into you anymore, so rather than do something completely devastating and fuck some other girl in the passenger seat that you're sitting in when you thought i was hanging out with my friends, i'll just go ahead and tell you, i don't think i'm in this anymore.' sure it'll hurt like hell, and probably be harder to get over without the anger, but guess what. that's what honest people do, and honest people are awesome in my book.

i dunno, i guess i'm just old fashioned at heart, i believe in chivalry (which apparently is dead), and just trying to be a gentleman and considerate of, at least, that one person's feelings. but i'm also the guy that starts to like someone, and shuts off the attraction to anyone else. i mean, sure, i hold up the 'oh, she's hot.' when i'm out with my friends, but i doubt they'd wanna hear, 'eh, i know someone hotter, and she likes me already.' maybe i'm just weird. i mean, i do feel out've place because one night stands make me sick to my stomach, so i have to convince myself that i really like the person...really. i mean, i don't give a shit what other people do, it's just me. like i've got some odd 1950's moral compass poorly ticking in my brain, and i try to make up with it by overacting like some calloused promiscuous asshole. why do humans have to be so god damned complicated? and this isn't even getting on the outside, although, jesus - if i did, the rants i could go on with...for hours and hours. it'd feel good though, like i was thinking like a philosopher. haven't done that it a while. but yeah, anyway, inside me, i'm complicated although i try to dumb it down as much, saying really stupid shit all the time, cutting myself off before i get on a tangent that could potentially maybe make me seem insightful.

i guess i'm just realizing how much i distance myself from everybody and don't even think about it, so it's like it isn't happening. they do get those windows, but it sucks to wake up in the morning and realize that no one really knows you, not for their lack of trying, but they're still in the dark. it comes with the experience it seems. the longer i live, the more i shut people out. and i think it's an unconscious reaction to being hurt so much, so frequently.

wow, i just realized that this is a fuckload of writing, and on a blog, god. and not only that, i turned a mildly funny story into emo time. nice. well, how about let's go have a wonderful day...laundry's just about done. think i'll get some ice cream and take the rest of the day off from thinking.